Yami no Chat Room
Rating: R for language, chicken sex and…ah, does cyber yaoi still count as yaoi? ^o.o^
Disclaimer: Not mine. Belong to Matsushita-sensei.
Notes: This was a dare/challenge/threat. I'm going to deny writing this for the rest of my life. It's a transcript from the Shinigami's chat room. Run in fear, mortals ^o.o^ There may be a few injokes in here the majority of you won't get...but the ones that do will appreciate them. If the names don't give away who's who, here's a quick legend:
Iluvapplepie - Tsuzuki
3mpath - Hisoka
13370wl - Watari
TimeisMoney - Tatsumi, duh ^e.e^
SexBomb - Muraki
CrispyStrips - Gushoushin Older
ZingerCombo - Gushoushin Younger
chickensexluvr - Kanoe
masksarecool - Hakushaku
Pairings: Tatsumi x Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki x Hisoka, Tsuzuki x Watari, Tatsumi x Hisoka, Tatsumi x Muraki, Hakushaku x Tsuzuki, Kanoe x Gushoushin...oh for goodness sakes, just name it and you'll probably see it.
Warnings for: Chatterz talk, 1337 2p34k, OOCness, general insanity and pointless silliness. And a big dose of denial-on both mine and Tatsumi's parts ~_~
If you would like to archive this story on your web site, please drop me an email at littlevornskr@hotmail.com. I'll probably say "Yes yes yes I love you please do it yay!"
*Welcome to Yami no Chat Room
*Iluvapplepie has entered the room
Iluvapplepie: huh? isnt ne1 here yet?
*3mpath has entered the room
Iluvapplepie: hey hisoka!
*13370wl has entered the room
3mpath: Ha, now Watari-san's here so you can't do anything else.
*TimeisMoney has entered the room
Iluvapplepie: lol hey tatsumi we were just talking about u
*masksarecool has entered the room
Iluvapplepie: wtf?
*masksarecool was kicked by TimeisMoney
13370wl: who was that? o.o
*SexBomb has entered the room
Iluvapplepie: that was sooooo convenient timing
*13370wl has left the room
TimeisMoney: >_< dammit it better not explode.
*3mpath has left the room
Iluvapplepie: ROFLMAO
*SexBomb was kicked by TimeisMoney
Iluvapplepie: huh? aww geez tatsumi youre no fun
*3mpath has entered the room
3mpath: Is it safe?
*13370wl has entered the room
13370wl: did i miss anything good?
*chickensexluvr has entered the room
3mpath: WTF!? o_O
*CrispyStrips has entered the room
*ZingerCombo has entered the room
chickensexluvr: where are you two now?
*chickensexluvr has left the room
*CrispyStrips has left the room
*ZingerCombo has left the room
3mpath: OH MY FUCKING GOD
*TimeisMoney has left the room
13370wl: good1 tsuzuki u scared him off
*TimeisMoney has entered the room
Iluvapplepie: have a nice shower?
*TimeisMoney has left the room
13370wl: i am so pulling the log for this chat and posting it on the company billboard.
*3mpath has left the room
13370wl: rofl
*13370wl has left the room
Iluvapplepie: well bah
*Iluvapplepie has left the room
*Yami no Chat Room is now closed
3mpath: Yo. Where is everyone?
Iluvapplepie: dunno I just got here
3mpath: Well I wish they'd hurry up.
Iluvapplepie: awwww hisoka dont u wanna be alone wit me?
3mpath: Quit it with the stupid chatterz lingo already, it gives me a headache.
Iluvapplepie: well i cant type as fast as u
Iluvapplepie: thats why i cheat n do it this way
3mpath: Well you could at least make a bit of an effort.
Iluvapplepie: ok fine ill try not 2 use 2 many short words then
3mpath: Do NOT use numbers for whole words, Tsuzuki, or I swear I'll confiscate all your cakes for a month.
Iluvapplepie: /em pouts
Iluvapplepie: shit stupid typos
*Iluvapplepie pouts
3mpath: It's not effective if it's not real, Tsuzuki.
*Iluvapplepie gropes you
3mpath: TSUZUKI!
Iluvapplepie: hehe
Iluvapplepie: whats wrong hisoka? dont you like me?
3mpath: Baka!
*Iluvapplepie glomps you and starts feeling you up
3mpath: Tsuzuki, that's really not funny!
Iluvapplepie: hi watari
Iluvapplepie: oh really?
13370wl: h3yh3yh3y d00dz
*Iluvapplepie continues groping hisoka
3mpath: O_O
13370wl: L0L j00 r l34v!n9 m3 0u7 75uzuk!!
3mpath: Watari-san, stop that. It makes my brain hurt.
13370wl: Sry ^_^
3mpath: Am I the only person here who can construct proper sentences?
13370wl: I m a geek what do u want from me?
3mpath: Spelling and punctuation would be nice.
Iluvapplepie: hisoka is being an anal little bitch lol
3mpath: I AM NOT!
13370wl: lol is he ur bitch tho?
Iluvapplepie: of course lol
3mpath: I AM NOT YOUR BITCH!
13370wl: so whos bitch r u then?
3mpath: Please use some full words, my brain is really hurting @_@
13370wl: lol ur avoiding the question
*Iluvapplepie sticks a sign on hisoka's head that says "im tsuzuki's bitch"
3mpath: Oh that's really mature, Tsuzuki.
13370wl: can i be ur bitch too, tsuzuki?
Iluvapplepie: lol sure i need more bitches
Iluvapplepie: tatsumi is my bitch too
Iluvapplepie: uhhh dont tell him i said that lol
3mpath: That's sick and twisted.
Iluvapplepie: well who else can make him do whatever they want?
13370wl: lol hes not totally under ur control yet tsuzuki
Iluvapplepie: im working on it hehe
3mpath: I don't need to hear this.
Iluvapplepie: awww dont worry hisoka u can be tatsumis bitch too
*3mpath hits Tsuzuki over the head
3mpath: SICKO!
Iluvapplepie: hisoka wants to be ur bitch
3mpath: TSUZUKIIIII!!!!!!!!
TimeisMoney: ...I'm not going to ask.
13370wl: i m tsuzuki's bitch yay lol
*Iluvapplepie pets his bitch
Iluvapplepie: good bitch lol
*13370wl purrs
TimeisMoney: You know, the whole point I got Watari-san to make this chat thing in the first place was so we could discuss BUSINESS...
Iluvapplepie: awww poor tatsumi u can be my bitch too
TimeisMoney: O_O TSUZUKI-SAN!
3mpath: You're a fucking pervert, Tsuzuki!
3mpath: Who are you?
*masksarecool starts groping tsuzuki
Iluvapplepie: O.O WTF!?
TimeisMoney: I have my suspicions _
Iluvapplepie: i think im traumatized
3mpath: Hey Watari-san, you did make this chat room so that no one could just sneak in, right?
13370wl: its a chat room bon...anyone can enter
3mpath: ANYONE?
13370wl: who r u SexBomb?
SexBomb: Oh, just a casual surfer. Don't mind me. Carry on.
3mpath: I don't feel so good...
TimeisMoney: This is supposed to be a private channel.
SexBomb: Oh, really?
TimeisMoney: YES.
*SexBomb gives TimeisMoney a rose
TimeisMoney: o_o...huh?
SexBomb: whisper me ;)
Iluvapplepie: ooh hehe at least im not the one being picked on for once
Iluvapplepie: you go tatsumi hehe you sexy bitch
TimeisMoney: Shut up you o_o;;
SexBomb: Is he your bitch, Iluvapplepie? ^_~
Iluvapplepie: only on weekends hehe
TimeisMoney: WHAT!?
SexBomb: Can I be your bitch too? ^_~
Iluvapplepie: sure lol
Iluvapplepie: how many bitches do i have now?
TimeisMoney: I am NOT your bitch.
Iluvapplepie: you wish you were tho hehe
*TimeisMoney shuts up and refuses to answer that
Iluvapplepie: your all my bitches hehe
3mpath: I AM NOT YOUR BITCH!
TimeisMoney: I AM NOT YOUR BITCH!
13370wl: whoa their minds are joined or something lol
Iluvapplepie: maybe hisoka is tatsumis bitch after all lol
3mpath: Shut up!
TimeisMoney: o_O
SexBomb: Sounds like denial to me.
Iluvapplepie: lol yeah
Iluvapplepie: hisoka and tatsumi sittin in a tree...hehe
3mpath: Oh that's really fucking mature, Tsuzuki.
*TimeisMoney docks Tsuzuki's salary another 5%
Iluvapplepie: AHHHHHHHH
Iluvapplepie: SORRY!!!!
SexBomb: Definately denial, ROFL
3mpath: Who the hell are you anyway?
SexBomb: That's a secret :)
TimeisMoney: _ Secrets aren't really welcome, considering this is supposed to be a private channel for Enmacho employees only.
3mpath: Yeah, exactly!
Iluvapplepie: aww does it really matter? he seems cool and all
13370wl: shit brb i think one of my experiments is on fire
SexBomb: Do you reeeeeally want to know who I am?
3mpath: Yes.
TimeisMoney: Yes.
Iluvapplepie: sure ^_^
SexBomb: Hmmm...what's in it for me? :)
*SexBomb gropes TimeisMoney
TimeisMoney: O_O
Iluvapplepie: ROFLMAO
SexBomb: Cybersex is good ;)
TimeisMoney: Do that again and I'm kicking you.
SexBomb: You liked it ;)
Iluvapplepie: lol tatsumi is our resident whore
Iluvapplepie: we'll rent him out to you if you pay us enough hehe
TimeisMoney: WTF?
Iluvapplepie: well if we promised to split the profits with you would you? lol
TimeisMoney: I AM NOT A WHORE!
3mpath: Right...Tatsumi-san is a pimp, not a whore.
TimeisMoney: WHAT?
3mpath: Oh shit.
*Iluvapplepie waggles his eyebrows at tatsumi
TimeisMoney: Are you on crack or something?
Iluvapplepie: lol
SexBomb: Well, since there's only three of us here now...
Iluvapplepie: THREESOME lol!
TimeisMoney: o_O
*SexBomb traces a finger up Iluvapplepie's back
Iluvapplepie: ooooh
*Iluvapplepie moans and wriggles
Iluvapplepie: it was just getting interesting
Iluvapplepie: or are you jealous? lol
TimeisMoney: You don't realize who that was, do you?
TimeisMoney: I am NOT jealous!
Iluvapplepie: well do *you* know who it was?
TimeisMoney: I pulled up the IP address. What would someone from Tokyo hospital be doing in here, hmm?
Iluvapplepie: shit
Iluvapplepie: are you telling me that was muraki!?
TimeisMoney: Most likely.
Iluvapplepie: holy shit
Iluvapplepie: he was hitting on you lol
TimeisMoney: >_< don't remind me
Iluvapplepie: haha muraki was trying to get you and not me!
Iluvapplepie: thats fucking funny
TimeisMoney: Well I'm glad ONE of us thinks so.
Iluvapplepie: lol we found out who SexBomb was
TimeisMoney: PIMP?
3mpath: Really, who?
3mpath: Sorry Tatsumi-san, please don't hurt me o_o
TimeisMoney: Humph.
Iluvapplepie: it was muraki lol
Iluvapplepie: he was hitting on tatsumi
3mpath: O_O No shit?
TimeisMoney: Oh, shut UP Tsuzuki-san
TimeisMoney: Yes, it was Muraki. I pulled his IP.
3mpath: Whoa.
*Iluvapplepie is lmao
Iluvapplepie: you missed muraki hitting on tatsumi roflmao
13370wl: really?
TimeisMoney: You were the one that was getting all snuggly with him, Tsuzuki-san.
Iluvapplepie: shit
Iluvapplepie: i forgot
Iluvapplepie: hey i didnt know who he was at that point allright?
*TimeisMoney rolls his eyes
3mpath: You were *what*, Tsuzuki?
Iluvapplepie: we were gonna have a threesome lol
3mpath: O____O WHAT?
13370wl: ooh cybersex threesome kinky hehe
TimeisMoney: We were NOT going to do anything of the sort O_o
Iluvapplepie: hey kacho
13370wl: O_o
chickensexluvr: has anyone seen the Gushoushin?
TimeisMoney: Nope.
chickensexluvr: damn.
3mpath: Wait...Kanoe-kacho?
chickensexluvr: yes?
3mpath: OH MY GOD THAT'S SO WRONG
CrispyStrips : We're in the library, silly.
ZingerCombo: Come get us ;>
chickensexluvr: I'll be right there
CrispyStrips : Pluck me~!
3mpath: I'M TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE
TimeisMoney: I really wish he wouldn't bring his perversions into just everyday conversations, you know.
Iluvapplepie: yeah i mean where else would the gushoushin be?
Iluvapplepie: i think he just wanted to freak us out
13370wl: it worked O_O
3mpath: I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my afterlife.
13370wl: me too
Iluvapplepie: aw you get used to it after a few years
Iluvapplepie: right tatsumi?
TimeisMoney: Unfortunately.
3mpath: I think I need to go lie down.
TimeisMoney: Probably a good idea. Or get drunk. That's what I did when I first found out about it.
Iluvapplepie: hehe that was funny
TimeisMoney: For you, maybe.
Iluvapplepie: you tried to kiss me :D
TimeisMoney: ...shut up.
13370wl: oooooh when did this happen?
3mpath: ...I knew it, ha.
TimeisMoney: Knew WHAT?
3mpath: o_o nothing.
Iluvapplepie: hehehe
*Iluvapplepie winks at tatsumi
Iluvapplepie: oops
3mpath: He'll be back.
13370wl: yeah he prolly just ran to take a cold shower or sumthin lol
Iluvapplepie: ooh do you think he'll think about me lol
3mpath: That is SICK, Tsuzuki.
Iluvapplepie: whaaaaat? :D
Iluvapplepie: i have no idea what youre talking about
*Iluvapplepie fixes his halo
3mpath: Oh yeah, you're about as angelic as Tatsumi-san is charitable.
TimeisMoney: I got booted. Stupid server.
TimeisMoney: What? o_o
13370wl: we thought u were in the shower
13370wl: thinking about tsuzuki lol
TimeisMoney: O______O WHAAAAAAT?
*Iluvapplepie blows a kiss in tatsumi's direction
TimeisMoney: I'm just...not going to go there...
*3mpath hands Tatsumi-san the mental floss
TimeisMoney: _ Gee, thanks.
Iluvapplepie: i think im offended lol
Iluvapplepie: dont you think im sexy tatsumi? ^_~
Iluvapplepie: i know you do ^_~
TimeisMoney: *hand hovers over the ignore button*
Iluvapplepie: ahhhh hidoi!
Iluvapplepie: just coz youre in denial hehe
TimeisMoney: I am NOT in denial!
13370wl: denial denial denial
13370wl: roflmao
TimeisMoney: I AM NOT IN DENIAL!!!
3mpath: The amount of denial that radiates off you constantly is stomach-churning.
*TimeisMoney considers the advantages of lowering three salaries at once
3mpath: ...I'll shut up o_o
13370wl: ditto
Iluvapplepie: wah i'll stalk you!!!
3mpath: He'd probably enjoy that.
TimeisMoney: e_e
13370wl: woo tatsumi has a stalker lol
Iluvapplepie: i can pretend to be muraki if you want hehe
TimeisMoney: WILL YOU GIVE IT A REST ALREADY!?
Iluvapplepie: no way lol i'm going to make fun of it forever
Iluvapplepie: muraki was hitting on yoooooooou lol
Iluvapplepie: *pretends to be muraki* call me sensei, bitch
TimeisMoney: I think I'm going to be sick...
Iluvapplepie: hehehe
13370wl: well u know what they say about secretaries lol
Iluvapplepie: ahahahaha!!! i wanna see tatsumi in a short skirt XD
3mpath: Oh god the mental images...
TimeisMoney: O_o
13370wl: n low cut blouse rofl
Iluvapplepie: pink lacy bra! pink lacy bra! lmao!
3mpath: I think I'm scarred for life.
TimeisMoney: How do you think *I* feel!?
Iluvapplepie: would you dress in drag for me tatsumi?
*Iluvapplepie flutters his eyelashse
Iluvapplepie: eyelashes even
Iluvapplepie: stupid typos
TimeisMoney: NO!
13370wl: aww cmon hehe
13370wl: mebbe once i get my sex change potion working?
13370wl: then it wouldnt be drag rofl
*Iluvapplepie nosebleeds
Iluvapplepie: hehe
3mpath: You're all sick. SICK SICK SICK PERVERTS.
TimeisMoney: o_O
Iluvapplepie: careful hisoka
Iluvapplepie: or i'll help saya n yuma get you
13370wl: hey mebbe theyd help us get tatsumi into the proper secretary outfit rofl!
Iluvapplepie: LOL! I"LL ASK THEM!!!!
TimeisMoney: WHATWHATWHAT? NO! NO NO NO!
Iluvapplepie: wakabachan might help us too!!!
13370wl: wheeeee!!!
TimeisMoney: O_O
3mpath: Alas, poor Tatsumi-san. I knew him well...
Iluvapplepie: oh yeah how well hisoka?
*Iluvapplepie waggles his eyebrows
3mpath: That is SICK, Tsuzuki!!!
TimeisMoney: Do I LOOK like a shota-con to you!?
13370wl: yes
Iluvapplepie: yes
TimeisMoney: O_o
3mpath: o_O
3mpath: HEY, WAIT A MINUTE
3mpath: JUST BECAUSE I *LOOK* LIKE A KID DOESN'T MEAN I AM ONE DAMMIT! I'm 22 years old! I'm an adult! It's not shota if I'm an adult, dammit!
TimeisMoney: ...do you want to rephrase that? o_o
3mpath: Huh?
Iluvapplepie: oooooh is that a confession
Iluvapplepie: i think theres something theyre not telling us watari
13370wl: i knew i should have set up some cameras rofl
Iluvapplepie: hisoka is tatsumis bitch roflmao
3mpath: I AM NOT!
TimeisMoney: *twitches* I think I'm getting disturbed by all this...
13370wl: right hisoka isnt tatsumis bitch tsuzuki
Iluvapplepie: oh?
13370wl: tatsumi is hisokas bitch rofl
TimeisMoney: EXCUSE ME!?
Iluvapplepie: i knew there was a big bad seme hiding under that cute girly boy shell roflmao!
3mpath: Damn straight
3mpath: WAIT A MINUTE
TimeisMoney: o_O...Kurosaki-kun?
TimeisMoney: I think I'm just going to scream and run away in horror now.
13370wl: lmao!
Iluvapplepie: ROFLMAO
Iluvapplepie: my stomach hurts from laughing so hard lol
3mpath: Humph.
3mpath: Fine, think what you will, I don't care.
TimeisMoney: Does anyone care that my sanity is in danger over here?
Iluvapplepie: why tatsumi
Iluvapplepie: dreaming of hisoka doing naughty things to you? lol
TimeisMoney: >_<
3mpath: On your knees, bitch.
TimeisMoney: O_O
13370wl: ROFLMAO
Iluvapplepie: ROFL!!!!!
TimeisMoney: Okay what did you put in his drink, Watari-san?
13370wl: nuffin i swear rofl
Iluvapplepie: hes probably just sexually frustrated rofl
Iluvapplepie: go help him with it tatsumi XD
3mpath: Shut up you.
TimeisMoney: I'm definately going to start freaking out any second now.
Iluvapplepie: but take pictures
Iluvapplepie: or better yet let me watch hehe
TimeisMoney: O_O
13370wl: lol tsuzuki you perv
Iluvapplepie: voyeur is a nicer word ne?
3mpath: You're a sick, sick man, Tsuzuki.
Iluvapplepie: i'm not the one that called tatsumi a bitch and told him to get on his knees rofl
3mpath: No, you're the one that offered to stalk him and told him to call you "sensei".
TimeisMoney: I'm...going to go lie down...o_o
Iluvapplepie: lol call it "the first time anyone has managed to scare tatsumi".
3mpath: You so owe me 5000 yen, Tsuzuki.
Iluvapplepie: i know i know ~.~
13370wl: huh?
3mpath: Tsuzuki whispered me and dared me to say the "on your knees bitch" thing.
3mpath: And he's paying me for it.
13370wl: shit ur gonna end up like tatsumi bon lol
3mpath: There are worse people to end up like.
Iluvapplepie: gotta say im a bit disappointed tho
13370wl: y?
Iluvapplepie: i was hoping for some hot cyber shota XD rofl!
3mpath: ...
3mpath: Fuck you, Tsuzuki.
Iluvapplepie: ooh promise? can tatsumi join in?
Iluvapplepie: i guess thats a no lol
13370wl: im gonna go work on my experiments for a bit k?
Iluvapplepie: ok
13370wl: cya l8r
Iluvapplepie: i suppose this means I should get some paperwork done
Iluvapplepie: maybe if i beg and plead enough tatsumi will go easy on me
Iluvapplepie: ...or maybe hes still curled up somewhere thinking scary thoughts about hisoka hehe
Iluvapplepie: hmm...maybe I should go "comfort" him...
