He Who Laughs Last...
by Demonprist
TITLE: He Who
Laughs Last...
CHAPTER: (If one-shot, please state)
400-word count humorous oneshot in response to Eag's
fic challenge.
AUTHOR: Demonprist
RATING: PG
SPOILERS
(if relevant): Gratuitous use of both anime and manga
characters
WARNINGS: None
PAIRING(S): Muraki x everyone.
And I do mean *every*one. *cackles*
SUMMARY: Even on April
Fool's Day, Tatsumi has no sense of humor. Zero. Zip. Zilch.
Nada. Nein. Nyet. Then again, maybe he does...
DISCLAIMER:
I don't own any aspect or character or plot of YnM, nor am I
making any money from this deranged drabble. I am not
responsible for the bleeding or voluntary sporking of eyeballs
after reading this fic.
“I can’t believe Tatsumi
would sell us out like this!” Tsuzuki hissed as he struggled,
unsuccessfully, to loosen his bindings. “Hisokaaaa! Help me
out here, would you?!”
“Shut up. I’m not speaking to
you,” snapped his partner, who squirmed, also unsuccessfully,
against his own restraints.
In the corner next to him,
a bound Watari was rocking back and forth muttering,
“Should’ve stuck with the potion. Should’ve stuck with the
potion. Should’ve...” Atop his shoulder, trussed like a
miniature Thanksgiving turkey, 003 hooted in
agreement.
“Shut up, birdbrain. I’m not speaking to you
either,” Hisoka snarled quietly.
It had been Watari’s
idea to hack into Tatsumi’s private bank account and tamper
with the balance. Tsuzuki had helped him by flirting with the
secretary to distract him during the hacking.
“Idiots.”
Hisoka shared a miserable look with Konoe and the Gushoushins.
Never again would any of them even think of ‘borrowing’
anything from Tatsumi’s secret stash of office
supplies.
“Hey, kid.” Terazuma wriggled over to Hisoka.
Like the others, he was bound with magical wire. “You’ve been
here, done this, got the shirt. What... what exactly
happens?”
“Bad things. Bad, bad things.” Hisoka looked
at Terazuma, who was fidgeting from an obvious nicotine
withdrawal. “What are you in for?”
Wakaba cheerily
answered for him. “Hajime-chan got caught dumping his ashtray
on Tatsumi-san’s seat!”
“Beats getting busted for
gluing a smiley face on his blackboard’s pointer’s tip,”
Terazuma growled at her.
From another corner, Saya said
to Yuma, “Wow... I wonder what would’ve happened if we’d replaced
ALL of Tatsumi’s wardrobe with frillies instead of just his
underwear drawer...”
Hakushaku sighed. “Now I wish I’d
posted those pictures of Tatsumi’s and Tsuzuki’s ‘private
meeting’ on the internet instead of selling them to the local
tabloids.” Watson and several Shikigami nodded together.
“How come WE’RE here?” Hijiri
demanded.
“That’ll teach you to play with
demon-infested instruments,” Oriya said. “What I don’t
understand is why I’M here.”
“Because you’re cute,”
Muraki said as he walked into the room. “And because I did not
appreciate the wardrobe you had the maids leave out for me.”
He held up a pair of white pants, which were several sizes too
small for him.
Oriya snickered. “Serves you right for
always leaving bloodstained clothes in the
laundry.”
Muraki grinned, and started to undo the belt
of his robe while looking around at the group clustered in his
bedroom. “Eeny, meeny,
miney...”